“I can’t go on. I must go on...”

Isn’t it curious: if someone with terminal cancer decides to refuse treatment and let the disease take its natural course, everyone thinks it’s a noble act of bravery - but if someone has suffered for a lifetime with ‘cancer’ of the mind, and decides to quietly put an end to the years of suffering that their disease has caused to themselves and everyone around them - suddenly everyone is full guilt and thinks they’re ‘selfish’ and ‘cowardly’...

And I know this is will hurt everyone, and I know you’ll want to try to tell me “you’re loved”, and “you’re special!”, but I’ve already upset Geoff and fucked-off my therapist today, and I’m so full of piss-and-fire and self-loathing right now that I’m barely managing to be civil even with myself, so please excuse me if I go dark for a while whilst I wait to figure out if any of this is worth it anymore. 

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