Today is a day I never thought I’d reach: I just had my ‘last’ regular weekly #psychotherapy session with my therapist, Jamie Cahlil.
I’ve been seeing him (daily, then weekly) for nearly three years - since my last big suicidal breakdown in 2019, and it’s been quite a journey - but it’s been months since my last #relapse, and I’m feeling a lot more solid and secure in both my coping skills and my self-care, so we’ve agreed that I am recovered enough from both the Depression, and the triggered fear and shame that was behind it, which prevented me from looking after myself or even believing I was ‘worthy’ of recovery or self-love.
And I DO feel so much better - so much more ‘me’ again. I still have downs, and ‘habitual bad thoughts’ but I also now have the skills and the self-belief to face them and then let them go.
We’re still going to meet monthly for a catch-up for a little while though, just to make sure I stay well (and he wants me to contact him if/as soon as I feel any ‘bad’ coming on) - but it does feel rather good to finally feel ‘well enough’ to walk by myself again 🙏🏻
So if you’re still struggling, please know: it DOES get better. You WILL come through. You WILL find happiness and health again - IF you just believe in yourself and the therapeutic process 🙏🏻
#depressionhelp #depressionawareness #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealthawareness #gaymentalhealth #internalizedhomophobia #conversiontherapysurvivor #itgetsbetter