Deep rooted shame and broken connections
Shame is learnt so early - before you’re even verbal or aware. It is unspoken, and subconscious, and it breaks the essential underlying psychological and energetic connection between our selves and others, our feeling of oneness expressed as unconditional love.
That Shame and sense of unworthiness become the roots of a deep and primal fear: fear of rejection, of abandonment and separation. And because it is so deep, so unspoken, it’s roots go down into the very core of our unknowing selves - and rots away at the very roots of our identity and future happiness.
But the cure to fear is knowledge. Not just belief, but direct and experiential knowledge of the fundamental ONENESS of everything that means that none of us is ever alone - none of us is capable of being truly abandoned or alone.
We learn to overcome the Fear and the Shame by soaking ourselves in the conscious experience of our connection and our oneness.
And that’s why so many mystic and religious traditions make use of the practices of Service, of Connection, of Oneness and LOVE: they help to settle the heart into direct and underlying experience of the utter ONENESS of our being - the unconditional embrace of the all in one. (And it’s why the opposite experiences of disconnection, isolation and rejection are so harmful - experiences that are fed by old habits that make you feel unworthy, invalid, unlovable...).
And you know this: you’ve felt it in every one of those times when you’ve felt whole and connected: through ritual, in service of those you love (whether emotionally or sexually), in helping and caring for others - even just in those moments in nature where the beauty of everything gets into your soul and you feel alive and at one.
You do not need to atone - you are already at one.
The connections between us and the Universe are like wires that have broken and the ends don’t quite meet - sometimes they swing and reconnect: love sparking across the gap - but it’s temporary, and breaks too easily when something external shakes everything up and breaks the connection again... and so we must work to find those breaks, and let them heal and re-grow.
But Belief in the fundamental connectivity of everything - of everyone - isn’t enough to overcome this deep-rooted shame: you need to allow yourself to Experience it - be overwhelmed by it, and feel it soul deep, over and over again until it is written so deep in your being that those broken connections are steeped in Oneness and can grow together whole again. 🙏🏻