The Pagan Yogi

“Once you are once awakened, you can never fall back asleep again...” But is this true? How, then, do I ‘forget’ the great, life changing ‘truths’ that I’ve learnt and experienced in the past? How did I forget my strength, my independence, my Divine right-ness to simply ‘be’ without shame or fear or guilt...? Did I not ‘know’ it truly? Was my Pride merely skin deep - to be shed when my life and confidence shrank...? Or was I ‘ensorcelled’ as Jamie puts it: entranced and under a spell - lost in a hall of mirrors, of appearances... perhaps it was of my own doing, the curl-up survival instinct of the victimised in order to survive - but in doing so I rebirthed old wounds and traumas that split me from myself and left me compartmentalised, and truly not ‘in my right mind’... And was this the cause and purpose of my Depression? - the mud of my self-inflicted suffering: to shock me out of this sleepwalking fall into dead and unhelpful habits - the headlong rush into ego-self and the pl

My own sweet heart Deep in meditation, breathing in the wonderful moment; breath so deep, and sweet, and slow - smiling and easing - in one with the moment; and in the still moment, beneath  the rise and swell of the breath: the gentle upward pull of my own sweet heart, soft beating  in my chest. Thank you, dear heart, for being so steady: for never once giving up, no matter how my head may weep and scream despair - thank you, true heart, for holding faith and holding fast when I could not - thank you, sweet heart, for this steady gift of life and love, through thick and thin, no matter what. Thank you, sweet, sweet heart ❤️ 

I realise it’s been a while since that last #depression post - so I just wanted to let people know: I’m doing better... Not ‘well’, still, but the worst of the Storm passed, as it always does, and I survived it, as I always (mostly) do.  And things for me ARE looking more hopeful...: after a year of fighting, I’ve finally been granted Ill Health Retirement, and am being supported in the process of arranging pensions and financial matters that should mean I can continue the therapeutic process without worrying too much about how we’ll live without me able to work; the U.K. is steaming along with the Vaccine roll-out and we’re both just waiting for our vaccine date before Easter; and Spring is already bringing new life and #hope into the garden and the world. Remember: no matter how bleak it appears, whilst there’s breath in your body, there is still hope.  Here’s to ‘passing open windows’ and #travellinghopefully