The Flame and the Void

My #therapist is like a Zen Master. I took him my pain, my hopelessness, and he turned it back to me...:

“So, you’re ‘doing’ “hopelessness” right now? - then you should do it properly! It’s not like you can do anything else right now - it’s your karma to be where you are, no matter what you try or do - so you might as well use where you are as grist to the Mill of Becoming, and be here fully...

So, How do you feel, right now? Not ‘how do you think you feel?’ - that’s head-stuff; how does your BODY feel, right now? What is your PHYSICAL experience of feeling ‘hopeless’, right now?...”

Let yourself FEEL what you’re feeling: burn with it. Hold nothing back - Surrender to it, and let yourself be consumed by it - you may just discover that much will be illumined by the flames of such complete awareness...

It’s amazing how how much of my depression is spent in trying NOT to feel - to be ‘in control’ and ‘find healing’ - but how can you heal what you have not yet felt...?

Instead of wasting energy holding it all back, it’s amazing how ALIVE it can feel to really FEEL. Even when all you can feel is #pain. But if you let yourself burn, that flame can be so intensely beautiful - and the release of hot tears that follows so utterly purging too. But most of all: joy or pain, this is what it feels to be ALIVE.

No matter how bad it feels, it’s better to FEEL than to THINK. Because FEELING is LIVING - and to be ALIVE, fully and consciously, is all we can ever strive to be.

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